In this Flashback Friday episode of the Creating Wealth podcast from December of 2015, Jason Hartman discussed different aspects of January 2016’s Meet the Masters event, along with Rich Dad Advisor Garrett Sutton. Sutton noted some important pieces of information regarding asset protection and strategies from his new book, Finance Your Own Business: Get on the Financing Fast Track.
During the guest interview, Emily Filloramo, author of How to Permanently Erase Negative Self talk: So You Can Be Extraordinary, talked about her methods of overcoming negative self talk, unlocking fear, and facing past traumas that are holding people back from their ultimate potential. She described how bad experiences in childhood have lasting effects in our adult lives, citing her own childhood for reference.
Asset Protection Advice
Hartman begins the podcast by noting that episodes ending in a zero are dedicated to off-topic matter, with this one being dedicated to overcoming negative self talk. He notes that we should be careful with what we say to ourselves, because treating ourselves negatively can truly hold us back from our lives.
Rich Dad Advisor Garrett Sutton participates in the episode’s introduction with Jason Hartman and mentions some of the topics that he plans to discuss at the Meet the Masters event in 2016. He mentions asset protection, stating that litigation has not stopped. People are suing at an alarming velocity and there are things that business owners should do to protect themselves and their assets.
He mentions that it’s beneficial to understand the rules that may vary from state to state and notes that California has an interesting set of rules for business. It’s important to understand how the state of California regards businesses and business owners.
California: Worst Place to Do Business
Hartman states that though the California-specific information won’t apply to all his listeners, it’s still pertinent to address the issues with the state. He then poses the question regarding what happens if you reside in California, but have entities in other states.
Sutton explains that these residents are penalized by the state and that it has more to do with the salaries and pensions for bureau workers than anything else. In his example, he states that if you have a fourplex in Arizona that is an LLC, the income from that fourplex flows to you in California and you have to pay taxes to the state of California for that income. Recently, if you live in California and you manage the same Arizona LLC, the state claims that you are technically doing business in California because you reside in the area. This means that you’ve got to pay the state $800 per year, even if all your business is done in Arizona. If you try to skirt around paying this fee, the penalty is $12,000.
Hartman mentions that California has been ranked as the worst place to do business in the United States by several sources. He notes that New York and Illinois are quite bad as well, but California tops the lists. In addition to the $800 fee for having an entity in the state, Hartman questions what can be done from a liability standpoint. He follows the example of the Arizona LLC, questioning what can be done if there is an incident in or near the Arizona property.
Sutton states that there could be an inside attack where the tenant sues the Arizona property, or an outside attack if a car accident were to happen in an effort to reach the Arizona property. He notes that it’s possible that the California courts will want California laws to apply to the issue, though there is no formal case on this yet.
He states that the Arizona owner could assert that with issues concerning the property, Arizona laws should apply. Many states have better asset protection than California.
What Are Series LLC’s?
Sutton mentions that at the Meet the Masters event, along with the California issue regarding inside and outside attacks, there is also information he’d like to discuss regarding series LLCs. He notes that many people like these setups, but that he is personally not a big fan of them and plans to explain the positives and negatives associated with the series LLC.
Hartman explains that a series LLC is set up to where it can have one entity, but that entity is able to be composed of sixteen different parts. The number of parts to the series might vary depending on the location they’re in, but the different parts are firewalled between each other. They were promoted quite a bit several years ago, but they appear to have lost popularity over time.
Garrett Sutton’s Books
Sutton states that he is now publishing his tenth book, six of which are part of the Rich Dad series. The newest, Finance Your Own Business: Get on the Financing Fast Track, is a piece that he wrote with Gerri Detweiler and in it he discusses business strategies, methods of getting funded through crowdfunding, and raising debt and equity. He wanted to illustrate the different options that people have when it comes to their businesses, covering this information in one place in a way that he’s never seen.
In addition to detailing the talk that Garrett Sutton plans to give at the San Diego Meet the Masters event of 2016, Hartman mentions that he has additional news. Due to a poor turnout at a scrapbooking conference taking place the same weekend, there is an extra ballroom available to use for the event and seating can now cover 138 people.
Hartman also states that the Venture Alliance Mastermind group is going to take a trip to Dubai for their 2016 event. He reminds listeners that they can attend once as a guest before needing membership for future trips, and that the guest fee is only $2,000 along with low airfare prices.
Held Back by Parts of Ourselves
Hartman introduces Emily Filloramo to the podcast, author of How to Permanently Erase Negative Self talk: So You Can Be Extraordinary, to discuss overcoming negative self talk. She states that it’s important to understand that people are made up of several different parts. She uses the metaphor of driving a bus to describe the human journey in life. Sometimes, people are trying to accelerate to a specific point, maybe it’s losing weight, getting a promotion, or beginning a desired relationship. Filloramo notes that we are aware that we deserve the accomplishment, but for a lot of people, it’s difficult to manifest what we want. There seems to be blocked parts that are hard to figure out. Filloramo likens this to having part of you pressing down on the brakes in your bus.
There is sometimes a committee of characters in our minds that tell us we aren’t good enough and they hold us back. They remind us of bad experiences that we have had in our lives and discourage us from trying for a future. Filloramo states that this is negative self talk.
Why You May Be Scared of Success
When asked if these voices in our heads are something we can control by telling ourselves to change, Filloramo states that for some people, it works to tell ourselves to change, but it only goes so far. People may achieve a level of success because they’ve moved up in the world, but can’t materialize getting any better than that. In order to unburden oneself from the negative messages in self talk, it’s important to look deeper inside the psyche.
Filloramo advises becoming familiar with aspects of your negative self talk, those parts of yourself that are holding you back and creating negative behaviors. Get to know these parts and understand the methods that they’re taking in an effort to protect you.
Hartman references a quote by Henry David Thoreau, one that Filloramo also mentioned in her book, that people are often living in quiet desperation, pretending that everything is fine when it’s important to look at things the way that they are. Not everything is great, and that’s acceptable.
Living Through a Mask
Filloramo states that when people claim that everything in their lives is great, it tends to make them sound less genuine. She explains that people say these sorts of things because they usually live through a mask, doing what they believe is expected of them. They live their lives trying to keep up with the Joneses and Filloramo asks if after all the stuff they’ve accumulated, are they finally happy, or left wanting more?
People tell themselves that if they just had this possession or that, they’ll be happy, but Filloramo states that people should be asking themselves if they’re happy on their journey. If you’re not happy on your journey, this is likely because you’re being driven by demons from your past.
Filloramo explains that she was once like these people, living in quiet desperation and trying to do what everyone else expected her to do. She reminds listeners to check in with themselves and ask themselves if they’re happy, if they’re healthy. If there are aspects of their lives that can be improved, the lacking areas are where the inner work needs to begin.
Aggression and Hiding Childhood Shame
Filloramo explains hidden shame by noting that she experienced the feeling of never belonging anywhere when she was young. She grew up poorer than her peers, in an Asian family where she did not have nearly as many privileges as other people. When she finished college, she got a corporate job and decorated herself with nice clothing to keep up with the Joneses and validate herself to the people she was trying to fit in with.
That part of her was frozen in the past, she says. In college, she recalls other girls from wealthy families having care packages sent to them by their parents. She did not have these comforts from home, because of growing up less wealthy. She felt inadequate due to being Asian and felt she was not as good as the other girls were.
Hartman states that New York city is a melting pot, full of many cultures and asked if it was a big deal being Asian at the time. Filloramo states that, in Queens, she was part of one of the few Asian families at the time. There were Caucasian and African American families in her area, but few Asians. This was part of why she felt so inadequate, and she states that those feelings followed her because she was not shown love and support at home or at school.
She illustrates another example of negative self talk in her clients, mentioning that there are many business leaders that she counsels. There are times that these people are very controlling with no sense of empathy, and it leads their employees to feel disengaged. Filloramo explains that people who are angry and controlling are often hiding shame. It’s especially true of men, who are not encouraged or given permission to express their emotions openly. Boys are often bullied at a young age and because of this, they develop controlling behaviors so that they won’t get hurt.
We need to see the reason why people behave the way that they do, Filloramo says. With this awareness, self-healing can take place. We have to have compassion for other people as much as we do for ourselves. Understand that these negative aspects of a person are only a part of them that took on this sort of behavior because of hiding pain. These actions are not those of the person’s true self, because when a person is wounded, the true self is hard to find.
Filloramo explains self talk as understanding how these negative behaviors came about, what they need to release, and what’s required to heal the vulnerable parts of oneself. Once you understand your protective systems and befriend them, you can visit that vulnerable place inside and rewire what needs to be corrected—overcoming negative self talk.
Is It Safe to be Better?
Hartman questions how this is done, if it’s a literal talk that we must have with ourselves on a conscious level, or if it’s a subconscious thing we do under the radar.
Filloramo explains that there are times that we can consciously catch ourselves in negative self talk and recognize our inner chatter. She advises to think again about driving the bus and asks what the number one goal is on the journey. Thinking about trying to accomplish it, do any fears or concerns surface? What parts of you have doubts about your goals? For example, she states that if you’re planning to lose twenty pounds, your partner might become jealous. It’s important to identify whether it’s safe to reach for a goal and ask yourself what you’ll be accountable for now that you aren’t blocking yourself with excuses.
Hartman states that often times, people don’t like change. As humans, we are creatures of habit and Filloramo agrees that people feel the devil they know is better than the one they don’t know. Hartman rephrases this by saying,
“The devil you know is more comfortable than the angel you have not met yet.”
Filloramo is reminded of another quote that the pair agree was misquoted to Miriam Williamson when it was actually an original quote by the late Nelson Mandela.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”
Fear and Self-Sabotage
Filloramo explains that many of the people she has worked with try to leap to the next level of their lives, and as they get bigger and feel the spotlight shining on them, they feel overwhelmed that there is nowhere to hide. She explains that if you’re going to unleash your potential and make a difference in the world, you’re probably going to be in the spotlight. You’ll be asked to speak at conferences and the like, no matter your field. This idea scares people, but it doesn’t have to if they unburden themselves from the past. Some handholding might be needed when deeper layers are revealed, but inner work has to be done.
Hartman mentions the possibility of people performing acts of self-sabotage out of fear. People ruin things for themselves because they’re afraid of what success might mean. He notes that he’d think people would want the attention needed to further their careers, but he can understand why too much attention could get sour. He states that he was talking about the lives of celebrities recently, and that their lives seem like they’d be fun for a weekend before the trapped feeling set in.
Understanding Protective Systems
Filloramo states that everyone thinks that they want to be in the spotlight, because we’re all meant for it. We were all balanced as babies, experiencing no wrongs in our natural state until we are forced to respond to trauma. We develop personality changes because of this. We can become introverted or extroverted, and even develop extreme shyness to protect ourselves.
She mentions a client she had that became extremely shy at 18-months old after his baby brother was born and he no longer knew how to receive attention from his mother. He developed his shyness as a way to reach out for help, and it has stayed with him throughout his life, becoming detrimental to his career.
Another client wanted to go farther in his business and needed $25 million from investors. He felt reluctant to ask people for money and this issue started when he was two years old. He would ask his mother for things and she would ignore him. He developed the part of himself that doesn’t want to ask for things because he felt that asking never got him anywhere. Part of him is protecting that two-year-old underneath it all.
It’s necessary to get to know these protective systems so that work can be done to correct them. We have to understand why we behave the way that we do so that we can tell ourselves that we are not that two-year-old anymore, but we do need his help to fix the problems that have grown. We have to take these parts of ourselves off the breaks, and those parts eventually become our cheerleaders when we’ve healed them. Filloramo states that the whole system can realign itself and let the real you show through, so that you can take the wheel and drive.
Contact Information for Emily
In closing the podcast, Emily Filloramo presents her contact information via her website at www.bemoreextraordinary.com or her email address at [email protected] Her book, How to Permanently Erase Negative Self talk: So You Can Be Extraordinary is available on Amazon.