By Jason Hartman, CRS, GRI, CSP
The term “con artist” is derived from the word “confidence,” and refers to an individual who takes advantage of others after gaining their confidence by falsely appearing to be friendly and trustworthy. He or she convinces the victims that they will benefit from their relationship or by doing business with him. Once the victims have taken the bait, the con artist completes the scam and disappears with the loot.
Unfortunately, many folks consider salespeople to be con artists! The truth of the matter is, while sales is a noble profession, it is often tarnished by salespeople without scruples, who take a con artist’s approach to their businesses. Through exaggeration or outright lies, shady operators give all salespeople a bad name. Obviously, we are all ambassadors of our profession – our actions reflect on our associates, and theirs reflect on us. It is tough enough to build a respected brand without being undermined by con artists!
I began this column with a reference that many readers will consider far too negative. They will be repelled by the suggestion that con artists operate within their ranks. But the fact is, they sometimes do, and there are Realtors who sometimes do “whatever it takes” to make a sale. They may feel that if they have to stretch the truth, that’s just part of the game.
Gaining a client’s confidence is essential for successful selling, but confidence must not be used to take unfair advantage. While being a friend is important, it must be combined with good character. Good character means never having to say you’re sorry. Good character means full disclosure, even if it results in a lost sale. Good character means sincere follow-up with clients even after the commission check is cashed. Good character means diligent adherence to the law and the Realtors’ Code of Ethics, even when no one is watching.
Whenever I discuss this subject, I can’t help but think of the Monica Lewinski scandal during Bill Clinton’s Presidency. If there ever was a charismatic politician, it was Clinton. He oozed friendliness from every pore. It was hard not to like the guy, even when you didn’t agree with his politics. But his easy-going manner and sincere smile masked a flawed character. His lack of respect for the stature of his office reflected badly on the entire nation. Whatever positive personal branding he had developed by being friendly was largely squandered by his lapse of character. In your business, remember Clinton’s experience and you will never go wrong by taking the high road.
Here are a few ways that friendliness, honesty and good character can be built (remember that all of these techniques can be subverted if used with a con artist’s mindset). One of the most important techniques is based on the tendency of people to reciprocate when they receive benefits from others. For example, if you give a prospect something of value, then that prospect will feel obliged to give you something in return (hopefully an order). This works just as effectively with affection as it does with things. If you demonstrate a genuine liking for your clients, they will tend to like you in return, and it is a well-known fact that people prefer to do business with people they like.
Another effective strategy you can use to nurture friendship is to demonstrate that you have empathy and appreciation for your clients. Everyone likes to feel validated, and if you show that you understand and appreciate your client, you will forge a powerful bond that hopefully will lead to friendship based on mutual respect and trust.
Harming someone makes it difficult to forge a bond of friendship for another unexpected reason: when you harm someone, you will tend to dislike that person. Notice I’m not saying you harm people that you dislike – I’m suggesting that you dislike people that you harm. That is because you would feel guilty if you hurt someone you liked. Since hurting someone you dislike causes you less personal discomfort, you will reduce your guilt if you convince yourself that you dislike people that you have hurt.
Do you enjoy being in the company of people who criticize you and make you feel badly about yourself? Probably not. Do you enjoy the company of people who compliment you and make you feel good about yourself? No need to elaborate – practice this and you will prosper.
There are many similar techniques that you can employ to enhance your image, strengthen your brand and grow your business. In applying these strategies, you should always maintain a positive attitude, encouraging others to gravitate toward you. When you learn how to relate to people in a positive, honest way, you will reap many rewards. There are two sides to the coin. You can be a true friend, or you can be a con artist. When you “con” people, take advantage of them or make them feel badly about themselves, you will eventually fail. It’s that simple. What goes around, comes around.
Jason Hartman, CRS, GRI, CSP is the author of “Become The Brand of Choice – Make Your Name A Powerful Brand and Earn Millions” and President of Empowered Investor International. For more information visit www.JasonHartman.com or www.BrandofChoice.com
